one might say we're banned from that church
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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