What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
