He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
