I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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