Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
