so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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