do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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