Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
