do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
