therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
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I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
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I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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