he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
