fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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