your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
