that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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