I wish you could order shots online.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize