Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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