shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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