yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
