That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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