Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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