I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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