Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize