Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have fence marks all over my body
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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