and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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