Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
