All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
