Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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