remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
nutella sex= disaster
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
