the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
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Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
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I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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