So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
