i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
