he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
