Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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