No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
