Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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