Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
