I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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