your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
