Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
