You can't motorboat a personality
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
