im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
God, I missed his penis.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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