butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
