you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
