Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
