Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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