Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need to sanitize my soul.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
