let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!