I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
NoShamevember. You game?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?