thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
