tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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