i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
