Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize