Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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