i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
