at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
