Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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