they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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