She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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