nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
