i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize