bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
its not stalking. its research.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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