Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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