Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
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