Just took my morning after pill in the library
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
