HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
