I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I see more hoeing in ur future
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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