# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
