so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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